My classmate in History class!
::crowd cheers/wipes tears away::
I was wearing my fabulous headband with a bow on it, in history class today. My seat neighbor turned to me and touched the bow.
"I love this."
"Huh?" I replied.
"This," touching the bow again, "I love it."
"Oh, the bow."
"It's so Jane Austen."
I giggled and told her how I found it at at the fantastic and trashy Forever 21 accessories store, and that it was so cheap and I had one in gray as well. She was impressed.
When she came back from having her cigarette, I opened my laptop screen to show my background of Mr. Darcy. It was still up from the previous week when I had a heated discussion over the newest incarnation of Mr. Darcy, and how he was inferior to the A&E+BBC version.
"Oh, I love him!" She squeaked.
"Me too! Isn't this the greatest picture of him?"
The conversation jumped to ludicrous speed from that point and only every 5th word was discernible, "Jane Austen... favorite... Mr. Darcy... Squee!... Special Edition... Me too!... Squee!... Emma?... YES!... Squee!... Sunday Afternoon... hors d'oeuvres... prosciutto... Squee!... isn't it always red wine... cheese snob... Gouda ::chuckle::... Jane and Lizzy... Squee!" until class started again.
My neighbor on the other side leaned over and asked "Do you sometimes have your lap top open, just to look at him?"
"I plead the fifth."
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Contimplations on Grocery Items
I just realized something. I went grocery shopping, a rare event these days, and bought some French bread because it was a dollar. I then proceeded to buy butter and cheese to make garlic toast. These items were not on my list. This may not seem so important, but just wait- it gets better. The items that were on my list were things for me to make quesadillas, burritos and taco salads for the next week. I know what you are thinking, “Really? You will only eat three different things for the entire week?” (Not just three, I bought two frozen pizzas because they were on sale.) The realization, the epiphany, the point where I fling open the window and shout “EUREKA!” came with this thought: Taco Toast!
I know Taco Toast is still a shade controversial. I have complete respect for your beliefs in the anti-TT camp, however, I firmly believe that we can expand our horizons and try new things. Sure it is unnatural at first, especially when we have tortillas in the house, still, I am sure that stringing cat guts on some hollow wood was a little odd at first too. Think of all the places we can go from here! Oh, the possibilities!
Code of the Morgagod: Open your mind to new food! Eat a bug at least once in your life time! (If you haven't reached the bug eating stage yet, start with Taco Toast!)
I know Taco Toast is still a shade controversial. I have complete respect for your beliefs in the anti-TT camp, however, I firmly believe that we can expand our horizons and try new things. Sure it is unnatural at first, especially when we have tortillas in the house, still, I am sure that stringing cat guts on some hollow wood was a little odd at first too. Think of all the places we can go from here! Oh, the possibilities!
Code of the Morgagod: Open your mind to new food! Eat a bug at least once in your life time! (If you haven't reached the bug eating stage yet, start with Taco Toast!)
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Quotes
People I know are unconsciously funny. They crack me up, then give me the Mysterious Face of Mars look when I laugh. These are some of the things people have said to me in the past few weeks.
"And everyone knows, you always take Aristophanes with a grain of salt." - History Professor
"The weather has just been really up in the air lately." -Yolandi
"I have just eaten too many bad bunnies!"- Jams
"If I had a dollar for every time I had to break up with a girl because it was physically impossible to have sex with her- I would have four dollars." - Guy I know
"Quick! Does anyone have a binary decision maker?" -Dr. Lake
"Shouldn't short plus short make you shorter?" - Classmate in crime
"I need water ASAP before I totally kill the teacher!"- New BFF
Of course, I was guilty of the same thing, the following made my Composition professor crack up:
"Damn you F. Scott Fitzgerald! Damn you and your nuances!"
These I said today and made other people crack up:
"You need to brush up on your Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm."
"I say 'foo' on your two 'B's.'"
Taken out of context, most things can be funny, still I appreciated these sentences this last little bit.
"And everyone knows, you always take Aristophanes with a grain of salt." - History Professor
"The weather has just been really up in the air lately." -Yolandi
"I have just eaten too many bad bunnies!"- Jams
"If I had a dollar for every time I had to break up with a girl because it was physically impossible to have sex with her- I would have four dollars." - Guy I know
"Quick! Does anyone have a binary decision maker?" -Dr. Lake
"Shouldn't short plus short make you shorter?" - Classmate in crime
"I need water ASAP before I totally kill the teacher!"- New BFF
Of course, I was guilty of the same thing, the following made my Composition professor crack up:
"Damn you F. Scott Fitzgerald! Damn you and your nuances!"
These I said today and made other people crack up:
"You need to brush up on your Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm."
"I say 'foo' on your two 'B's.'"
Taken out of context, most things can be funny, still I appreciated these sentences this last little bit.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Pixar: A rebuttal
A short time ago during a discussion of Pixar movies I admitted that I did not see the allure, and several of the films they have produced elicited no more than a so-so expression. I was then immediately attacked with the accusation "You just don't like them because they don't have princesses in them!"
I honestly at the time could not respond to this, I was stunned at the statement and I couldn't recall most of the Pixar movies right off the top of my head.
This is not the first time something like this has happened. It bothers me more than I care to admit that several different people that I call my friends (or have in the past) don't know me at all. They see one part or side and fill in the rest with assumptions. It comes across as a lack of interest in me as a person, a general neglect, and lack of respect.
I looked up the list of Pixar movies, and other animated films that do not include princesses to dispel this preconceived notion of a princess exclusivity.
Pixar movies I could watch over and over again, Exhibit A:
A Bug's Life
Sorry, that is all I have.
Finding Nemo made me sleepy, and Monsters Inc. took a fantastic premise and let me down. I did laugh a few times, however this was more the effect of the comedian voicing the character than the movie itself. I haven't seen WALL-E and I have heard great things, still I am not motivated to spend money on it. I did love the first short film Pixar produced with the lamp, so I can guess that it will not be horrible. The short animation of the old man playing chess against himself for his own teeth made me smile, and and For the Birds, made me laugh until I cried. I did mildly enjoy Cars, however it was simply a re-hashing of Doc Hollywood which I enjoyed as a teenager. I absolutely hated Toy Story, just as I would start to care about the plot or character, they would shove in a song with the most obnoxious sounding voice I could imagine and I would loose interest, well except for the little three eyed aliens I loved those things.
In further evidence, Disney movies without princesses I loved, Exhibit B:
The Nightmare Before Christmas (I know every damn word)
Lilo and Stitch
The Emperor's New Groove
The Sword in the Stone
101 Dalmatians
Lady and the Tramp
Robin Hood (maid Marian was not a princess)
The Rescuers Down Under
Hercules (even though it completely ignored the mythology. Megara was an anti-princess and her song is the one I sing the most!)
Mulan
Tarzan
The Lion King
DuckTales: The Movie
Bedknobs and Broomsticks (half of it was animated and that was the part I liked)
The Hunchback of Notre Dame (even if it was inaccurate)
Winnie the Pooh
The Aristocats
I don't remember if Fantasia has a princess in it... I remember liking The adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad, however I haven't seen it in over 15 years so I am not sure if it counts.
Compare these to the Animated movies I like that have Princesses:
Sleeping Beauty
The Little Mermaid
Beauty and the Beast (Belle was not a princess, but she is always included in the list of them)
Aladdin
Cinderella III: A Twist in time (simply for the line "Ooooh, a stick! Let's beat her with it!" by a wicked step sister)
The argument could be made that I simply like specific animation styles or certain composers and lyricists. The music makes up a significant part of the film. I found out that my favorite song (One night in Bangkok) was written by Tim Rice, guess what? So were lyrics to songs in Aladdin and The Lion King. Alan Menken wrote lyrics for The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Pocahontas (I don't watch the move but listened to the soundtrack) and Hercules. See a pattern here? (he also wrote for Enchanted, but I am not counting that as animated)
The fact remains that movies without princesses far outnumber movies with them and there is much more to me than my tiara(s). Every time people (you know who you are!) pigeonhole me into one category it hurts and it is an entirely unfair assumption to make. So the next time you feel like making generalizations about my character and personality without paying attention to who I really am, I suggest your time is better spent banging your head against the wall, you shit munching cock face.
I honestly at the time could not respond to this, I was stunned at the statement and I couldn't recall most of the Pixar movies right off the top of my head.
This is not the first time something like this has happened. It bothers me more than I care to admit that several different people that I call my friends (or have in the past) don't know me at all. They see one part or side and fill in the rest with assumptions. It comes across as a lack of interest in me as a person, a general neglect, and lack of respect.
I looked up the list of Pixar movies, and other animated films that do not include princesses to dispel this preconceived notion of a princess exclusivity.
Pixar movies I could watch over and over again, Exhibit A:
A Bug's Life
Sorry, that is all I have.
Finding Nemo made me sleepy, and Monsters Inc. took a fantastic premise and let me down. I did laugh a few times, however this was more the effect of the comedian voicing the character than the movie itself. I haven't seen WALL-E and I have heard great things, still I am not motivated to spend money on it. I did love the first short film Pixar produced with the lamp, so I can guess that it will not be horrible. The short animation of the old man playing chess against himself for his own teeth made me smile, and and For the Birds, made me laugh until I cried. I did mildly enjoy Cars, however it was simply a re-hashing of Doc Hollywood which I enjoyed as a teenager. I absolutely hated Toy Story, just as I would start to care about the plot or character, they would shove in a song with the most obnoxious sounding voice I could imagine and I would loose interest, well except for the little three eyed aliens I loved those things.
In further evidence, Disney movies without princesses I loved, Exhibit B:
The Nightmare Before Christmas (I know every damn word)
Lilo and Stitch
The Emperor's New Groove
The Sword in the Stone
101 Dalmatians
Lady and the Tramp
Robin Hood (maid Marian was not a princess)
The Rescuers Down Under
Hercules (even though it completely ignored the mythology. Megara was an anti-princess and her song is the one I sing the most!)
Mulan
Tarzan
The Lion King
DuckTales: The Movie
Bedknobs and Broomsticks (half of it was animated and that was the part I liked)
The Hunchback of Notre Dame (even if it was inaccurate)
Winnie the Pooh
The Aristocats
I don't remember if Fantasia has a princess in it... I remember liking The adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad, however I haven't seen it in over 15 years so I am not sure if it counts.
Compare these to the Animated movies I like that have Princesses:
Sleeping Beauty
The Little Mermaid
Beauty and the Beast (Belle was not a princess, but she is always included in the list of them)
Aladdin
Cinderella III: A Twist in time (simply for the line "Ooooh, a stick! Let's beat her with it!" by a wicked step sister)
The argument could be made that I simply like specific animation styles or certain composers and lyricists. The music makes up a significant part of the film. I found out that my favorite song (One night in Bangkok) was written by Tim Rice, guess what? So were lyrics to songs in Aladdin and The Lion King. Alan Menken wrote lyrics for The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Pocahontas (I don't watch the move but listened to the soundtrack) and Hercules. See a pattern here? (he also wrote for Enchanted, but I am not counting that as animated)
The fact remains that movies without princesses far outnumber movies with them and there is much more to me than my tiara(s). Every time people (you know who you are!) pigeonhole me into one category it hurts and it is an entirely unfair assumption to make. So the next time you feel like making generalizations about my character and personality without paying attention to who I really am, I suggest your time is better spent banging your head against the wall, you shit munching cock face.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Good News!
I heard the most spectacular news today.
First, to understand why the news is so important, I need to explain something.
As a teenager, I decided to read more classic literature. I picked up Jane Eyre, thinking it was a good place to start, and it was the first leather bound tome I had. I believe I was able to make it about 12 chapters in before I threw it across the room.
This experience led me to avoid classic literature written by women of that era, the mere whisper of the Bronte name would send me into fits of frothing fury.
It wasn't until in my 20's that I was convinced, to watch BBC edition of Jane Austen Theatre by Danger Carrie. This was the presentation of Pride and Prejudice. I fell in love. I am not sure if it was the wine, or the food, or Mr. Darcy, or some magical combination of it all, I loved this story. I bought the collector's edition of Pride and Prejudice on DVD and have made everyone who hasn't seen it watch it with me, eliciting many sighs and new appreciation for Mr. Darcy (and Colin Firth).
Since I have had this experience, I have proceeded to compare every man I meet to Mr. Darcy. This has spared me from any painful crush or awkwardness as every man has failed to spark my interest in a significant manner. It has been a blissful few years.
I received a book called Me and Mr. Darcy (Alexandra Potter) for my birthday.
A summary of my review of this book:
This novel began delightfully. I did my best to overlook the obvious errors in speech patters of the American narrator. There are some very accurate and humorous portrayals of single men that Emily dates. She believes no one will win her heart because she compares all men to Mr. Darcy (don't we all?). Witty and charmingly flawed our protagonist sets out to England for a literature tour, whereupon she promptly begins a Pride and Prejudice parallel journey. As delightful as this may sound, the story deteriorates as our most beloved hero Mr. Darcy (who shows up because of unexplained paranormal events) behaves remarkably out of character. Eventually our drunk and stoned (yes stoned) heroine decides that poetry is no longer romantic. She vastly prefers someone she can text message (where r u?) and a man who insists on sleeping with her on the second date. She returns to London to shag a scruffy, dirty, fat, fashionably challenged journalist, who in fact hates Mr. Darcy and everything he stands for. This was an intense relief. In no way does Emily deserve the attention of Mr. Darcy, and I was very glad when this poor telephone version of a timeless example of male perfection was no longer plagued by a gauche caricature of a literature loving modern American woman. Needless to say, I would not recommend this book to anyone who enjoys Jane Austen.
After reading this book I have sworn to never read another Pride and Prejudice derivative novel again.
Today I am excited to inform you that I will proudly eat my words. It has come to my attention that a book I will not be able to resist, is being released this spring.
Drum roll please?
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Written by Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith.
Have a moment to savor this news (and squee appropriately).
* * *
Two of my favorite topics together in one book? I have a difficult time thinking someone could know me so well. It is a little terrifying. There is no way this book will not be fantastic, this proves there are exceptions to every rule.
Jams and I have decided that the only appropriate costumes for the Zombie Pub Crawl this year are Zombie Jane and Zombie Lizzie. Last year there was only one Zombie Mr. Darcy and I was in a tizzy. I can't begin to imagine how fantastic dozens of Zombie Mr. Darcys would be! I will be in Zombie Heaven!
First, to understand why the news is so important, I need to explain something.
As a teenager, I decided to read more classic literature. I picked up Jane Eyre, thinking it was a good place to start, and it was the first leather bound tome I had. I believe I was able to make it about 12 chapters in before I threw it across the room.
This experience led me to avoid classic literature written by women of that era, the mere whisper of the Bronte name would send me into fits of frothing fury.
It wasn't until in my 20's that I was convinced, to watch BBC edition of Jane Austen Theatre by Danger Carrie. This was the presentation of Pride and Prejudice. I fell in love. I am not sure if it was the wine, or the food, or Mr. Darcy, or some magical combination of it all, I loved this story. I bought the collector's edition of Pride and Prejudice on DVD and have made everyone who hasn't seen it watch it with me, eliciting many sighs and new appreciation for Mr. Darcy (and Colin Firth).
Since I have had this experience, I have proceeded to compare every man I meet to Mr. Darcy. This has spared me from any painful crush or awkwardness as every man has failed to spark my interest in a significant manner. It has been a blissful few years.
I received a book called Me and Mr. Darcy (Alexandra Potter) for my birthday.
A summary of my review of this book:
This novel began delightfully. I did my best to overlook the obvious errors in speech patters of the American narrator. There are some very accurate and humorous portrayals of single men that Emily dates. She believes no one will win her heart because she compares all men to Mr. Darcy (don't we all?). Witty and charmingly flawed our protagonist sets out to England for a literature tour, whereupon she promptly begins a Pride and Prejudice parallel journey. As delightful as this may sound, the story deteriorates as our most beloved hero Mr. Darcy (who shows up because of unexplained paranormal events) behaves remarkably out of character. Eventually our drunk and stoned (yes stoned) heroine decides that poetry is no longer romantic. She vastly prefers someone she can text message (where r u?) and a man who insists on sleeping with her on the second date. She returns to London to shag a scruffy, dirty, fat, fashionably challenged journalist, who in fact hates Mr. Darcy and everything he stands for. This was an intense relief. In no way does Emily deserve the attention of Mr. Darcy, and I was very glad when this poor telephone version of a timeless example of male perfection was no longer plagued by a gauche caricature of a literature loving modern American woman. Needless to say, I would not recommend this book to anyone who enjoys Jane Austen.
After reading this book I have sworn to never read another Pride and Prejudice derivative novel again.
Today I am excited to inform you that I will proudly eat my words. It has come to my attention that a book I will not be able to resist, is being released this spring.
Drum roll please?
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Written by Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith.
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies features the original text of Jane Austen's beloved novel with all-new scenes of bone-crunching zombie action. As our story opens, a mysterious plague has fallen upon the quiet English village of Meryton--and the dead are returning to life! Feisty heroine Elizabeth Bennet is determined to wipe out the zombie menace, but she's soon distracted by the arrival of the haughty and arrogant Mr. Darcy. What ensues is a delightful comedy of manners with plenty of civilized sparring between the two young lovers--and even more violent sparring on the blood-soaked battlefield as Elizabeth wages war against hordes of flesh-eating undead. Complete with 20 illustrations in the style of C. E. Brock (the original illustrator of Pride and Prejudice), this insanely funny expanded edition will introduce Jane Austen's classic novel to new legions of fans.
Have a moment to savor this news (and squee appropriately).
* * *
Two of my favorite topics together in one book? I have a difficult time thinking someone could know me so well. It is a little terrifying. There is no way this book will not be fantastic, this proves there are exceptions to every rule.
Jams and I have decided that the only appropriate costumes for the Zombie Pub Crawl this year are Zombie Jane and Zombie Lizzie. Last year there was only one Zombie Mr. Darcy and I was in a tizzy. I can't begin to imagine how fantastic dozens of Zombie Mr. Darcys would be! I will be in Zombie Heaven!
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