I'm not the Asshole!

This is my first in medias res blog. We shall see how this goes.

Presidents and Assholes is going on, I am on a team with Jenni because I don't care, and she is a little too in her cups to really pay attention. We had been playing Rummy 500, I beat her three out of four so far.

Tonight is Jesse's last night living in Minnesota, and both Sarah and I have foregone our plans to be sober enough to drive home in order to hang out with him and give him a last all nighter in MN.


Jenni: This song is making me have a seizure.
Jesse: This song makes me want to move like a cyclone.


I haven't quite figured out the entire contents of the concoction we are all drinking, however Casey made it, and everyone drinks when Casey is the bartender.

Jesse: You should have played that earlier.
Casey: You would have won!
Sarah: No one told me.
Jenni: You gotta use a little of your noggin.


There is a ridiculous conversation about texting brad, to tell him we drank all of his alcohol, and could he please bring some more....there was too much for me to catch it all.

Sarah (from the balcony): She licked an ashtray and knocked over a Christmas tree.

Jenni has swiped Sarah's phone, I am pretty sure she is impersonating Sarah on Twitter.

Jenni: I really like dot dot dots.
Sarah: Ellipses.
Jenni: No dot dot dot, ellipses are the dot comma.
Sarah: No that's a semi colon.
Jenni: Oh. (to me in a whisper) Is she right?



Jenni (about Sarah's missing cat): Oooooh, that's so sad. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


Jesse: Where did Casey go?
Jenni: Poop.
Jesse: Oh.

Casey called brad to covertly get him to bring more alcohol.

Casey (on the phone with brad): No we aren't asking you to come over just to bring more alcohol.

Jesse (about brad): Where is he? Is he at a bar?...Is he having fun?

Jenni: Is he Yogging?
Sarah: Is he Yogging? Maybe he is having Yell-O shots.

Sarah: Is he coming over now? How about now?... and now? ....what about now?..... now? now? now? now? now?
Casey: No more now-ing from you!

Jesse: brad, it's Saturday night, don't be a tool.
Me: Isn't that a little redundant?

brad finally agreed to come over with more booze.

Jenni: This might be one of those nights when you sleep on the table.
Jesse: And you sleep under the table.
Jenni: BUNK-BEDS!
Jenni and Jesse (High-Five)

Sarah: The roof of my mouth itches. I'm allergic to life on planet Earth.

Jenni:... and that's how I got hooked on gin and tonics.

Jesse: Why would you need immediate Alpacka assistance?

Jenni: If Jesse was here [in front of me] I would hit him like this!

Sarah: Can we please paint our nails?
Jenni: Tomorrow when we are sober!
Sarah: Do you remember when I was drunk as hell, and I colored that asshole chicken? I did that well!

Jenni: A: you are spitting on me...B: I have no idea what you are talking about.

Jenni: This tastes like cinnamon streusel.

Jesse: BRADATOULLIE!

All: SOCIAL!
Jenni: I am only drinking juice right now.
Jesse: Get some alcohol in that.
Jenni: I don't have the means.

Sarah: I gotta pee.
Casey: I love that song!

Jenni: I'm PRES!
Jesse: That means I am vice Pres!
Jenni: I'm like Sarah Palin!
Jesse: You can see Russia from your house?

Me (while looking at the Cracker Barrel website): Fun and Games?
Jenni and Sarah: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Sarah: I think I liked you better when you were trying to set me on fire.

* * *
Earlier that evening in the car...

Jenni: Is that guy wearing a tux?
Me: No.
Jenni: I think that guy is wearing a tux.
Sara: A tux on him.
Me: A tux on you, sir.
Sara: A tux on the phony king of England.